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Happy National Coming Out Day!

Updated: Oct 25, 2023

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"I believe that telling our stories, first to ourselves and then to one another and the world, is a revolutionary act. It is an act that can be met with hostility, exclusion, and violence. It can also lead to love, understanding, transcendence, and community. I hope that my being real with you will help empower you to step into who you are and encourage you to share yourself with those around you." - Janet Mock


Why Coming Out Day?

  • LGBTQ+ people “come out” because it is assumed everyone is heterosexual and cisgender until they make it known otherwise.

  • It opens the door to our community, our history, and our culture.

  • Visibility helps other LGBTQ+ people feel less alone and may help fight against the coercion to assimilate into normative culture.

  • It is still unsafe - and in some cases, illegal and/or deadly - for many people across the world to be out, including people in your community.

Coming Out Happens in Many Ways

  • DIRECT: Telling people directly

  • INDIRECT: Other people telling for you or “outing” (either with or without your consent) OR being observed (ex. through PDA with a partner)

  • INTERNAL: Coming out to self

  • EXTERNAL: Coming out to others

  • CONDITIONAL: Being out only under certain circumstances and with certain people

If Someone Comes Out To You:

  • Thank them for sharing a piece of themselves with you.

  • Understand they have taken a risk - a risk of discrimination in work, housing, public spaces, and a risk of violence and rejection.

  • Don’t expect them to fit whatever stererotype you’ve created.

  • Ask them how you can support.

  • Don’t out them without their consent. If they offered a different name or pronoun than the one they’ve been using, ask which circumstances they want you to use them or not.

  • Don’t expect them to assimilate to cishet culture. We have our own culture.



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